What’s going on with me….
Well, I got a new job that I will be starting on the 15th of September. In the meantime, I can’t help but to question myself. What;s going on with my life, where am I going to end up, is everything going to work out like it’s supposed to, will I meet new people…. Those are just some of the questions I am asking myself. It’s not easy arriving in a new city and trying to make a new life. Once again I have this feeling that I am lost in the middle of nowhere and am wondering what to do with myself. I have been coming down to this city for the last 15 months but never ACTUALLY stayed here. I’ve been here for the last 3 weeks and am sorta starting to freak out: I don’t know anyone!!!!! Of course some might say that I know my girlfriend and her friends. Here’s the catch, they are HER friends NOT mine. I just happen to be “the boyfriend”. God this is not as easy as I thought it would be. My trip to Poland was a pain in the ass and I thought that this move would be a walk in the park but its not that easy. I respect every single person that moved out from their city to come and establish themselves in a new province/city/country. I totally understand how you feel.
I am not saying that I regret anything I am just saying that it’s not that simple. I miss my friends, miss speaking with them, having beers with them, having them around (or almost) and being able to pick up the telephone and scheduling a get together.
I seriously haven’t done much in the last 3 weeks except going for a few interviews and taking care of my girlfriend. Once again, I am not complaining!!!! I just wish that sometimes, things would be different and that we would be able to step out of the house over the weekend or during a week day and have some fun. I know that eventually things will get back to normal and that everything will be just fine. It’s just that it happens to be bad timing or something. I barely moved to Toronto and these issues arise. You just can’t help but wonder what’s next…..Ok let’s be positive and pray for good things.
I am also stressed about my place, it’s somehow unclear as to where I will be staying and it stresses me out a little bit. I know that all that I need to do is to ask my girlfriend what’s going on but for some reason, I can’t. It’s as if something was holding me back from asking her that stupid, idiotic and quite simple question as if I was afraid of her answer. I don’t want to live without her but sometimes it’s unclear as to how she feels. It’s not what she says but what she does not say to me (but to her friends, the was she will say some thing to some of them…) I have no idea if it’s me being paranoid or something or her not wanting some people to know the entire truth but it’s just a weird feeling…
Anyways, apart from that, I can’t wait to start work and get some moulah in $$$$$$$$ fucking right!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To my friends from Montreal, I hope to see you soon!!!! Until then, take care of yourselves and have fun in life. It’s too short to waste it on being serious.
Peace!